Hello, my name is Rainne
I’m a Biology major turned digital content creator and marketer who, for almost four years, put life and dreams on hold, to pay medical and hospital-related bills of my then-sick dad.
It all started when my dad had a heart attack and needed a bypass operation in 2016. Shortly after, he was diagnosed with a rare and progressive nervous system disease called ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis), which ended his life in 2019. I remember in those 4 years, we were in-and-out of the hospital and all our earnings went straight to either the hospital or for his medications. We needed to prioritize his needs over our plans and dreams.
When my dad passed away, I didn’t know where and how to restart my life and my dreams.
Everything that I wanted, and what I thought I wanted, are different now; all the opportunities that I missed are gone forever. I feel like I am too old to do this and that, and most of the people my age are now starting their own families and getting married and having kids, and I am here, on the first stage of being a young adult — figuring out life.
Do you know that feeling of not having enough time to explore and make mistakes? That you’re too old to experiment and mess up?
That is exactly where I am now.
What do I even want? I don’t know anymore.
But I am here, and I will do it anyway.
I don’t know where to start. And I don’t know how to start. But I will do it anyway. It took me a long while to resume catching my dreams and recover from everything that has happened, but I am here now. Whoever I was four years ago is very different from the person I am now. And although I do not have any idea of what I want, I know for sure what I do not like, and I believe that it is equally as important.
01 | Intentional and Mindful Living
And since I feel like I don’t want to waste any more time, I will try my hardest to live life mindfully and intentionally. Over the years, I learned how to be brave and say yes to opportunities and people, either because I had no choice or because I was too adventurous. But this time, I want to save some time and really spend it doing things I really love, and with people I really like. I was grateful because I was never afraid to try new things because it gave me a clearer picture of what I do not like and cannot tolerate. I now know what I do not like in a person and what I do not want in my relationships, I know what I do not want to be in my life of career and I know what doesn’t work for me when it comes to clothing and my overall physical look. I know what I do not want in my life, and I will start saying no to these things to give more room and energy to things that give me a positive feeling. I might not know what I want but I can recognize my emotions. Moving forward, all my decisions will be based on what I want to feel – I want to feel happy, independent of what people might think of me, I want to feel like I am growing and developing; I just want to feel better, inside and out.
02 | Always have fun and stay curious
I want to believe that I know how to have fun; I don’t take life too seriously. I believe that all of us have our own ups and downs, good and not-so-good days. But I don’t focus on the not-so-good days, maybe because I know that it will all pass. A friend from long time ago once told me that I remind him of the color yellow — always happy and always smiling. I never expected someone would see me that way. But regardless if it’s true or not, I want to keep that.
One possible reason why I have that kind of attitude would be my belief that everything is already planned out. The good, the not-so-good, the bad, the successes and failures. I always have this belief that it’s written already – sealed. What we can control are the in-betweens. And I always make sure that I get to enjoy the process.
03 | Always go after improving yourself and building healthy and positive habits
I may be old but I still want to grow and improve myself. I want to surround myself with people who will teach and inspire me to be a better individual, a better entrepreneur, a better public speaker, a better creative. I want to be surrounded by people who will make my soul smile, who will make my heart happy. I want to be surrounded by people who will push me to my best self – physically. Who will inspire me to do more and feel more. I want to be healthy, because in case you don’t notice, my genetic make up failed me. So I want to take extra effort in taking care of myself – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I want to build healthy and positive habits to buy me more time. I want to prioritize myself by investing in education and anything that will help me improve.